It has been a month since I have written so I figured it was time to write. The main thing on my mind right now is faith and hope. I have been going through a hard time and have been really stressed. I haven't been sleeping, I keep getting headaches, overall just haven't felt well. All of this because of stress! If there is one emotion/feeling that I hate more than anger it is stress. Now when I get stressed out there is a full cycle of events that happens. I will sadly admit that when I am freaking out God is not the first thing that I lean on, in fact, I lean even further away, why I do this is a whole different topic but regardless that is what happens. Next, I try to work everything on my own, which means blocking out people that can help and almost pretending that nothing is going wrong, but doing that catches up with me every night when I try to go to sleep. I then go to the worst possible scenario and then freak out even more. Finally, at the very last straw I will break down and tell God and the people around me who love and support me what is going on. I then am completely vulnerable and freak out that people and sometimes even God are not going to help me- every time I am wrong! If I could only have faith and hope that not only does God love me and have a plan for my life but that I have also surrounded myself with people that love and care about and only want the best for me. I just need to learn to skip all those nasty middle steps and just remember the faith and hope that I carry inside of me way down deep. So I leave you with these encouraging thoughts that I am trying to live by:
When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. (Psalm 94:19)
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
